T.W.I.N.S

I'm really a Gemini...there is a pair of twins with v. different personalities living inside me...

One is happy, one is sad.

One babbles alot when outside with friends, one keeps silent at home.

One likes to laugh out loud, one wanna flood the world with tears.

One longing to show her love, one just keep fighting it off.

Two different persons, but still able to live so well together. Amazing.

But how long can it last?

Questions that ask for long answers, but I only gave one or two words, or just nod or shake my head.

Felt so sorrie for mam. She kept trying to talk to me, but i shut her out.

Why am I like tt?

No idea.

L.O.S.T.

No picz 4 dis post.

No mood to take any.

Suddenly felt v lost...

Altho things r under control (*hopefully*), i still feel lousy...

Kept thinking abt tt word to describe my feelings...

Got it. *LOST* is da word.

Dunno y i'm feeling the way i am.

Will things be the same for me ever again?

Will I be the same person as i was b4?

The ans?

N-O, NO.

Nothing is gonna be the same anymore..

Coz i'm growing n changing...(to a better me? not sure.)

Guess it's a new phase for moi now...

Wad to do?

Wait for time to pass, take it in my stride?

Yeah, easier said than done...

Luckily i still can find frenz to share my sorrows...

Nice time spent @ Fisherman Village...

Wanna get drunk but too bad... my drinking is too good...haha :)

Thanks so much YX! For listening to me n making me c tt change in u...

Thanks also to TH! For taking a cab down n pei us even tho u got 20marks for ur driving test earlier...haha...

Well, tt's all folks.

Enjoy life while we can, ya?

mIxed fEeLinGs

I dropped to HELL on MonDay when i found out tt the investigation has stopped and case has closed. Full-stop. Period.

WTFuck.

They said they cant find any concrete evidence against him so THIS IS IT. They proposed to me to call the police.

Yeah. Great. I believe they dint want to publicise this matter so trying to keep things low.

But i tell ya, YOU MESSED WIF THE WRONG PERSON!

I'm going to do wadever i can to bring justice 4 myself. I'm sure i can, with the help n support of so many ppl. Serene, Shaz, Jodee, Little Bee, Sneak-to-Pee, n LO: Thank you so much for supporting, encouraging, n advising me to do the right thing. I guess if not for your constant help, i would not have lasted til today. And all those ppl who r secretly helping me behind my back, thanks v v much.

Finally went to the police to lodge a report...hopefully (*fingers crossed*!) they can find the truth n give me a justified answer n explanation. After almost a 2-hr recording session, i can finally put the weight on my shoulders n in my heart down. I felt so relieved, but at the same time troubled n worried becoz i might have to go to court to testify. Once again, hope tt everything can go smoothly. (*Crossed my fingers again!!*)

Drove to Loyang Tua Pek Gong to pray with mam n aunt...i was filled with sincerity when i prayed...nv b4 i was so desperate for my prayers to be answered...except for the time when i took my driving practical...

Aniwae, i treated me mam to Lerk Thai for dinner @ WS (dad went Indonesia to fish...*diaoz*) Nice food n service...the waiter kept greeting n smiling at us...not bad...i recommend tt restaurant...4 stars****

Finally i was able to get a decent meal...couldnt eat much for the past few days... now tt the police r helping, i feel more secure n hopeful once again......

Morales tt i've learnt from this whole incident:

1. Be strong & face challenges with courage. COME WAD MAY man...

2. Always know tt the ppl ard u love n care for you. Think of them b4 u think of DEATH..

3. Stand up for yourself.

4. Learn to protect yourself, especially galz...

5. Never think tt danger won't happen to you.

6. Stay alert!

Keeping busy is the best therapy..

BUSY.

Nice word.

People ask me wad's my way of dealing wif stress?

My ans to them was listening to music.

Until now den i realised i'm giving them the wrong answer..

The best therapy is to keep myself busy n occupied..

Cant realli sleep so wake up super-duper early on saturday...

Sat at the living room in a daze, waitin for mam to wake up to go market..

Went crazie shopping for the whole of sat..altho we went to TM n EastPoint only...we managed to buy MANY things n we spent $$ lyk nobody's business... If it was the past, i would haf felt realli guilty abt spending so much in one day..but now i dint feel sinful...in fact i felt great...when i was shopping or trying out for clothes or shoes, i realised tt i dint think of unhappy things..for tt moment i was happie n carefree...but i know this is an expensive therapy becoz i ended up buying unncessary things.. BUT den.. *who cares*

Was trapped by Prudential guys po-lo-so-ing us to sign up 4 saving plans... Oready made it clear tt i'm not interested but they refused to let us go.. freakingly thick-skinned ppl...wonder how much is their commission? izzit worth tt mai ming yan chu..

Aniwae we ended up entertaining them for about 45 mins..wad a waste of time :(

Sat gone n Sun came..

Dis time i woke up at 5.30AM.. tried to get back to sleep but cant.. toss n turn until 6.45AM when i gave up and got up to disturb Bebe...

Until abt 8AM when me n mam started baking cookies..so we baked n baked n baked until 12 PM plus...nice way to kill time... Cookies turned out to be a success...had a sense of achievement..

My 1st four maiden cookies..dint give it enuf space to expand tt's y stick tog..but it taste yummylicious!

Drove to my couzin's hse to give her the cookies...haha.. she said i was yaya abt driving alone to her place...

I am so tired now but i cant sleep...wad's happening to me?

Am i gg to go thru another sleepless night again ltr?

HAIZ..

Depressed...

Dis weekend was so hard to go thru'...

I noe it's mad but i wish mon can come faster so i can go back to office...not because i lurve the work dere...but i wish to get some fucking ANSWERS...

Was realli depressed on Friday after tt "interrogation"... realli spoil my mood...

Planned to go shopping aft work since sat dun haf to work...

We still went town aniwae...BUT no mood to shop...realli...kept thinking abt tt freaking thing...

Luckily for shalyn's company if not i will go into depression...

Dint sleep well for the past two days...

Cried to sleep...

Pretending to be strong...but how long can i last??

FUCKING PEEPING TOMS!

Fuck. I dun support vulgarity n i try to avoid it as much as possible...but today's incident made me wanna shout out all the vulgars in the world!

Cant believe i'm actually WORKING wif a bastard who peeps in galz' toilets...

Cant believe i'm actually a VICTIM of his crime!

Cant believe i actually LET him GO...

Should have shouted out n alarmed the others...

But i was so shocked when i saw half of his face tt i got stunned dere...

What an idiot.

Hopefully the CCTV will show ur true colours!

Go. To. Hell. U idiotic scumbag!!!!!!!!!!

Better dun let me catch you...or i'll make sure ur eyes r dug out n flushed down the toilet bowl...

BUT on second thoughts, maybe it's better if u get caught...coz i hate the thought of other gals being peeped at in the future...

GALZ BEWARE!

Stay ALERT even when U r in the ladies or no matter where u r...

This world is full of crappy, psychotic, idiotic, brainless, retarded & no-integrity freaks who dun care abt others' feelings except for their lust and dirty minds...

Maybe being peeped at is a small matter to some but to me, i felt like i'm being molested n my privacy violated...

I kept thinking about it during work...even lost the concentration to get anything done...luckily the day was almost over n i can get to leave the office soon...but on the way home i kept thinking n thinking n the thoughts went wild...

Thankfully i bumped into my old primary-cum-secondary skol fren Faiyadz...we chatted thruout the journey on the bus and thanks to him, my mind was kept busy and away from all those angry thoughts becoz his jokes n stories were realli funnie n entertaining...

Told my parents abt it when i reached hm...mam was so angry tt if i did not stop her, she would haf called the police..haha...

Haiz...wad's done is done...Juz haf to keep positive n try not to let my thoughts run wild again..

Pray to Guan Yin Ma tt tmr we can catch tt fucking bastard after viewing the CCTV...

P.S. this incident has happened before in the office too...cant believe they actually let tt guy escape...he even went as far as using his hp to snap photos of one of the ex-colleagues...

P.P.S. Once again, galz...keep ur eyes open n STAY ALERT n SMART no matter where you are...especially when U r alone...

I speak from experience.

haPPenin' & mEmoRabLe saTuRdaY...

Due to my idiotic bro n his modem, i cant access to the net as often as i can & wan...

Well...nvm...being such a forgiving person, i forgave him & it...

Had a v v v fun saturday...

It's the alternate sat so i had to work (*boo*!)

Thankfully it's half-day...we even had time off for a late breakfast!

Aniwae, after work i went to TM to meet mam to shop for some baking needs...i'm learning how to bake cookies! (*yay*!) Thanks to Mariam, who bake wonderful cookies which led me to want to learn to bake them...haha~

So we shopped ard...wanted to buy some clothes n shoes...but no such luck...

Got a msg from lester...asked me to go yalong eat chou dou fu (smelly beancurd) tog wif the skinny hydi n eemay...so i pang seh mam to meet them...poor her...she had to carry all the things home alone...*heheh*

*Blurgh* smelly beancurd is realli damn freakin smelly...n hydi can eat until so jing jing you wei...unbelievable...but the other dishes r v v nice...so i think it's quite worthwhile after all...altho the stench can be quite unbearable...but i got used to it after some time...

Went back to Pasir Ris to meet Xiang...celebrating Lin, Les & Nick's birthdae together @ orchard...

Kill three birds wif one stone... *haha*

Had dinner @ Vil'age Restaurant...nice food...it's like Marche but i tink the design of the place is like food republic...haha..

We ordered a TIRAMISU cake for the three of them...

:Lin: ::LeS:: :::NiCk:::

It was so fun...it's been a long time since i got to get together wif them...chatted for a long time...took many pics...it was then tt i realised tt i miss the whole bunch of them... LuRve dEm!

It was ard 10pm plus when we left the restaurant...

Decided to watch movie @ cineleisure...after much "watch wad?" & "dunno lehz" we settled on Flushed Away at 11pm plus...

So we slacked ard to kill time... Hui n Lin n Tiong went to play DDR...funnie...

In the end we were late for the movie...becoz the person who got the ticket went to park car... haha..

BUT it's okie...i dun mind missing the show...coz i fell asleep in the theatre...was damn tired...n the show was BORING! Out of 10 ppl, 5 of us zonked out... (nice one!)

By then it was ard 1am plus plus...dint receive a call from mam...tink she has learnt her lesson from the previous episode... *winkz*

Thanks to Darren, who drove us all back to the safety of our home...

I finally got into the comfy of my super-single bed n fell into dreamland at once.......................

mY nEw friEnD @ tHe oFFicE ~ rHiNocEruS!!

Met rhino at the bus stop after work...

Took the same bus as her...

Sat the seat with her (she saved a seat for me...haha) *winkz*

Chatted thru the journey...

Got to know her better...

Due to my concern for other colleagues, I got to know them better too (from rhino of course!)

Rhino's a nice lady...v v caring for others...

Juz now in the office, there was this woman who kept coughing n coughing...

Rhino came over and offered her some sweets...

So far, rhino has offered me apples, crackers, smint strawberry, lollipops and cakes...

You will nv go hungry @ the office!

Guess my pink crystal bracelets increase my ren yuan...

One guy whom i haf nv tok to said good morning to me...

The new manager stopped n had a chat wif me on my way to the toilet...

Now rhino is my new "best" friend on 169...

But where's Mr. Right???

**wAhAhAhA**