Growing Up is a Tiring Process

When I was a kid, I prayed n prayed everyday tat I could faster grow up and become an adult, so i could haf more freedom, wear nice n beautiful clothes, put on makeups, make money, etc...

I would always envy my aunt, who worked at Changi Airport during those days for being able to dress up n be pretty... *hahaz* I remembered when I was ard 2 yr old, I would put my tiny little feet into her high heels n walked ard the hse, pretending to be the next top model and refusing to return them and almost caused my aunt to be late for her work... *wahahaz*

I was constantly thinking about the good aspects of being a grown-up, but tat's wad an innocent n problem-free litte girl, with zilch ideas of the real world wadsoever, would fantasize...

BUT now, after living for almost 20 yrs in the world, I suddenly realised tat being a kid IS STILL THE BEST...

Altho u may argue tat i'm entitled to more freedom now, able to wear pretty clothes, put on makeup, or basically wadever I had fantasized back then had all came true... BUT I dint prayed for all the stressfulness, family n friendship problems, studies, work, ETC ETC ETC, so why did DEY all come true??

*haiz*

Tat's the price to pay for growing up, isnt it? *the devillish voice chuckled inside my head*

XY n I were juz discussing a few days ago abt the old days, when the two of us would stay over at our ah ma's hse during the weekends and juz play n play n play with no worries, unlike now...

It was so fun back then... I realli miss it, can i juz go back and live through it once more? Pretty pls?? *begs*

BUT I can't... Life still goes on...

Why am I suddenly so emotional over growing up issues?

*ha*

You could put all the blame on the freaking SMU interview tat i'm due for tmr, tat's why...

I got all emotional after talking to Thaya, a friend of mine from TP, who already went through her SMU interview...

I called her to know more about her interview, and she's realli nice... Told me wad had happened, and how she had prepared herself for it... I honestly think she has ACED the interview... My sixth sense is telling me tat her interviewers LURVE her to bits n pieces coz she was damn confident in herself, and even did her homework before gg for the interview, AND even dare to argue wif her interviewers in the sense tat both parties haf different views on some issues...

ME? I think i'll succumb easily to their horrible n demoralising questionings...

Which reminds me of the horrible MOE interview...

Aniwae, coming back, Thaya has given me a clearer picture of wad I will be going through tmr...

I'm juz hoping tat I dun suffer another nervous breakdown like the MOE's... BUT easier said than done... I heard SMU is more stressful, and the interviewers are ANG MOHS!!!

WTF.

Wad if I dun understand a freaking word of theirs due to their freaking accent?

Wad if I embarrass myself during the interview?

I know myself... Will get tongue-tied when i'm nervous...will er alot when i dunno wad to say...

And the interview is supposed to be "on-the-spot" kinda thing... Pls lorz, I think I'm rather slow in responding to ppl... How to make my brain tick faster? And i tend to say the wrong things at the wrong time... HOW?! HOW?! HOW??!!

Damn fucking stress now... I know it's juz an interview, and i'm not veri keen to study in SMU, but I still wanna try it out n gain the experience, juz so i can tell ppl next time tat SMU had interviewed me... *hahaz*

BUT a tiny part of me is telling me to forgo the interview and forget abt studying at SMU...

To go or not to go??

You see, tat's another thing about being a grown-up...

DECISIONS. You have to make decisions every now n then for every single little thing... At least a kid has parents or some other ppl to make decisions for them, they nid not worry so much coz those decisions made for them will ultimately be the best for them, and nth much can go wrong from daddy n mommy's decisions, rite? Right.

Wa lau... I can't imagine wad my children will be facing in the future if it's so stressful surviving in Spore now... Not to mention kids nowadays are studying harder, facing tougher competition, and being more materialistic n becoming brats...

WTH.

No point thinking so muchie into the future when I'm not even sure if i can survive tmr's ordeal...

PLS G.Y.M, I know i havent been to visit u lately, but can you pls pls pls bless me wif ur kindness n mercifulness so tat I can make it through tmr's interview... Although I know the possibility of me getting enrol in SMU is pretty much near zero, can at least give me strength so i can make some sense out of my mouth at a minimum...

BLESS ME!