I just killed a lizard!!!!!!!

EEEWWWWW!!!!!!!!

I can't believe I juz ended a life (a lowly life btw...) and disposed of it without leaving any evidence behind... Now, how cool is tat???

*GROSS*

I knew I had to get rid of it ASAP becoz of BeBe... Being a simple-minded creature, BeBe isnt veri well-educated on the taboo of eating pests or basically living under the same roof as them...

Therefore, with her best interests at heart, and, despite my fear of going near such pesty irritants, not to mention KILLING them (mind-boggling!!!), I managed to DO it.

I used the cane (yes, i have a cane at home... you know, those bamboo kinds which mummies use it to hit her brats and all?? We used it on BeBe, but when she's young n needs to be tame. I swear we dint use it on her now... well, except on roaches and of course, lizards), stood on a chair, and began whipping at the freaking BLACK baby lizard on the ceiling...

*GASPS!!!*

BLACKIE LIZARD??? OMG!!!! It's totally disgusting can???!!! I dint know lizards are colourcoded like humans...

OMG OMG OMG.

Damn er xin okie!

Usually when I see such unwelcome 'guests' at my house, I will shriek and call for my dad/mam to 'handle the situation', and I will put as much distance between me n the freak as possible, and emerging when the situation is 'under control'...

But juz now, I simply can't ignore Blackie. Coz the image of BeBe being terrorised by it for the whole night was overwhelming... I can't let BeBe go through tat kind of pain, you know...

So......

I HAD TO KILL IT TO SAVE THE WORLD!!!!!!!

Thank GYM tat Blackie is small, and one strike of the cane on its little tiny body was enough to send it to hell.

It dropped to the floor, motionless.

GREAT. Juz great.

Now tat I've knocked it out, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO DISPOSE ITS BODY??????

*EEEEWWWWW*

This would mean tat I have to pick it up somehow and throw it away...

Yuck.

I contemplated of juz leaving it lying there, but BeBe, sensing the third party, began sniffing her way towards the crime scene... *shakez head*

Eventually, I grabbed a piece of newspaper n tried to scope the dead body onto it... but to no avail.

*sighz*

Stupid Blackie... Since you r already dead, why can't you juz kindly let me scope ur body, bury u in my expensive newspaper, and then u can rest in peace??? WHY MUZ U MAKE MY LIFE SO MISERABLE????

Helplessly and irritably, and for the sake of BeBe, I (oh, pls forgive me, GYM) squeezed Blackie's body using the newspaper, crushed it so tat hell won't reject its arrival, and dumped it down the chute.

Period.

End of story. End of Blackie's life.

*hehhehz*

........

Thinking back, I guess Blackie was trying to look for its mummy/daddy (how can u tell if lizards r female or male? BUT aniwae, I dun care.) coz a few days ago, it was ME again who found another lizard (an adult, and a FAT one somemore... *roll eyes*) lurking in the bathroom... Wad damn luck.

Obviously, under such emergency situations, it's best for somebody else other than me to call the shots...

It's showtime for my dad... He spent a few minutes in the bathroom, and I could hear the whipping of the cane on the ceiling, floor, and the walls... and finally, the sound of flushing water from the toilet bowl... *wahaha*

Victory is ours! The evil was ridden of!

"Okie, it's clear, you can use it now." said dad in a manly voice. My hero.

"Wah, xie xie lehz!!"

BUT DEN HORZ...

I FOUND ITS FAT SPASTIC TAIL STILL WRIGGLING ON THE SURFACE OF THE WATER IN THE BIG CONTAINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*almost die in asthma attack*

Apparently, my dear old 'hero' had thought tat he had flushed away the culprit, and peace was brought back to the house... But apparently, it's not.

I yelled again, and dis time, dear old dad lost his temper on me (coz I was disturbing him from watching Yi Nan Wang)... *fuming mad*

Not my fault wad! It was him who dint clean the crime scene in the first place... dint he know tat after killing muz leave no evidence?? I guess not coz he doesnt watch CSI. *haiz*

Now the true hero finally emerged... My mam is my true heroine... Although she grumbled abit, it's her who ultimately, truly, completely, and indefinitely got rid of the last living part of Lizzy...

*applause!!*

She carried the whole round-sized container, and together wif the wriggling fat-arse tail, flushed the whole contents down the toilet bowl... *YAY!!!*

So finally, the chaos had ended... And I could finally and peacefully enjoy my shitting time in the toilet... BUT den again...

WAD IF THE LIZARD, MIRACULOUSLY, DINT DIE AND INSTEAD, SWIM BACK UP AND RESURFACED IN THE TOILET BOWL????????!!!!!!!!!

*GASPS*

Holy shit. I couldnt give a damn le... I was constipated for the past few days, and finally I had the inspiration to shit, I WONT GIVE IN TO A FILTHY LIZARD!!

Thank GYM, Lizzy dint resurface...

*wide grinz*

The morale of the story? Make damn sure tat nothing is left behind after killing, erm, lizards.

Tat's it. Simple and easy as ABC n 123...

Nite everyone...